"So you want to be in love like the movies?"

Love is patient, love is kind, but people aren't so get that shit out of your head.

You want to know what love actually is?

True, legitimate, this is going to take me a straight year or more to get over kinda love?

This is going to exhaust my friends, annoy-myself-to-death listening to me talk, mull it over 3 billion times in my head, what did I just do, should've seen it coming, kinda-love.

The kind you don't feel until it's really over, and I mean really, facebook friends removed kinda-over.

I just untagged myself from all your photos, go-fuck-yourself, we're through, don't text me kind of finished. The real shit. That is what I'm talking about here.

The kind where you remove their number from your phone. Not because you don't have it memorized already, but so you don't incessantly text-harass them with “I hate you” post-breakup messages at 2am during your mandatory 3 to 6 month drinking/whatever you do to get-over-it phase.

I mean rock-bottom, heart on the table, I swear I'll never let anyone do this to me again love.

The kind where you legitimately believe that no matter how great it was at one time, you'll never let yourself fall again because the pain in the end just wasn't “worth it.”

Yet, at the same time, you crave intimacy more than you ever have before during this period and resent yourself more for it. In fact, you resent yourself for most everything. Even if you're the one who ended it you hate yourself for giving them a chance, letting them in to hurt you, for knowing better to begin with, for not listening to your friends, for listening to your stupid friends (but what the fuck do they know, anyway), for all the time you wasted, for how many times you put yourself out there, for being trampled over, lied to, and generally publicly humiliated, or at least in your own mind.

Yeah, that kind of love.

The I wake up every morning and feel it in my gut, on my chest, in my head, my whole body hurts love. The I never want to see you again because all I want in life is to see you again.

Dirty, nasty, I'd never tell my mother what we did, you have all my secrets, know all my insecurities, filthy-filthy love.

Yeah.

That kind of love.

So where do we go from here?

You know damn well where we go. From this person, to that person, to this person, back to that person, in a merry-go-round of I'll do damn near anything, or semi-attractive anyone, to get you off my mind. In fact, I'll do this until inevitably I realize it doesn't change a damn thing, other than my reputation and perspective of the opposite sex. I'll push everyone who gets remotely close to me so far away that eventually I'll start to believe I'm invincible, or at minimum, unbreakable. That's right, you've made me into a self-professed, hard-hearted, no one can ever hurt me again, you're-all-the-same, fuck everyone with the same kind of genitals as you, fool.

Then one day, probably a year from now, I'll be over it.

I'll see you out with someone who isn't nearly as good for you as me, and I'll think to myself, “that's gonna blow when they break your heart the way you did mine.”

Then eventually, it will happen. Someone will crumble them to pieces and they'll become the whaling, blubbering idiot you were a year ago...and you'll smile. Not because vengeance was served, but because you finally realized this is life, and this is love, and it happens to everyone. Everyone. Even to the one who broke you.